Love Story: Scripture Edition!

CHAPTER 1

An epistle of Kermit to his girlfriend, Miss Piggy—He expresseth his love—He asketh her on a date.

And it came to pass, that as Kermit dwelt in the swamp, he did write an epistle to his girlfriend, Miss Piggy, and these are the words which he did write:

2. O Miss Piggy, my heart is full of love for thee!

3. Behold, thou art fair, my love. Thy teeth are like a flock of sheep that are even shorn, which came up from the washing; whereof every one bear twins, and none is barren among them.

4. Thy countenance is as the shining of the sun and doth fill my soul with happiness.

5. My heart is also filled with sorrow, with sorrow my heart runneth o’er, because that thou art far from me.

6. Miss Piggy, I beseech of thee that thou wouldst go on a date with me. Doth Friday at the twelfth hour work for thee?

CHAPTER 2

An epistle written by the hand of Miss Piggy, to Kermit—She loveth him as well—She accepteth his offer of a date.

It came to pass, that Miss Piggy did receive the epistle of Kermit on the fourteenth day of the second month of the twenty-hundred and twelfth year since the coming of our Lord.

2. And when she did receive these things, her heart was filled with joy for the tender mercies of the Lord in sending her a boyfriend.

3. And it came to pass, that she did write back to him, and these are the words of Miss Piggy, written by her own hand:

4. Kermit, my love, I send thee this epistle, written by mine own hand and accompanied by my love.

5. Thy greenness doth soothe my troubled heart, and the thought of thee in my mind doth carry me through the troubled days and keepeth me warm through the cold nights.

6. Fear not, my love, for I will return to thee upon the morrow, and the time that we have been apart shall seem to me but a day, because of the love for thee that is in my heart.

7. My heart rejoiceth within me that thou didst ask me on a date, and I would that I had words to express to thee how much I would love to go!

CHAPTER 3

Kermit and Miss Piggy are married—Their generations are set forth.

And it came to pass, that on the twenty-seventh day of the third month of the twenty-hundred and twelfth year since the coming of our Lord, Kermit and Miss Piggy were married.

2. And they did multiply and replenish the earth.

3. And it came to pass that Kermit begat Kermit Jr.

4. And Kermit Jr. begat Kermit III.

5. And Kermit III begat two sons and he did name them Shadrach and Harold.

6. And Shadrach died tragically in his youth, and Harold was highly favored of his father and did receive the birthright. And Harold begat Frederick.

7. And Frederick was exceedingly righteous, and was taken up by the Lord, and thus ended the posterity of Kermit.