1. According to the 2010 US Census, 15.9 million people between the ages of 18 and 24 did not vote in the 2008 presidential election.
I did not put periods after the acronym "U.S."
According to the 2010 U.S. Census, 15.9 million people between the ages of 18 and 24 did not vote in the 2008 presidential election.
2. This is a tougher statistic to quantify and measure but is invaluable to the function of democracy.
There should be a comma before "but."
This is a tougher statistic to quantify and measure, but is invaluable to the function of democracy.
3&4. The process takes less than 15 minutes and is promptly submitted to the proper county clerk for approval.
There are two in this sentence, "15" should be written out, and there should be a comma before "and."
The process takes less than fifteen minutes, and is promptly submitted to the proper county clerk for approval.
5. But when it comes down to it, 16 million voices represent a significant portion of America, and without their votes, less than half the people are left to shape the future for everyone else.
This sentence starts with a conjunction, which is technically not grammatically correct, but I'm leaving it for voice. The thing that I am correcting in this sentence is the writing of 16 with numbers instead of spelled out, as it should be.
But when it comes down to it, sixteen million voices represent a significant portion of America, and without their votes, less than half the people are left to shape the future for everyone else.
Great! Now that's done, and on to my feelings about peer review of papers. I haven't seen how my peers have reviewed my paper yet, but I am excited to see their suggestions and corrections. I think peer review is great and can really help us all improve as writers and learn from each other. I wish we would not have had to include five comments on every page; sometimes I just didn't have five things to say. I think the half-page response at the end was a much more effective way to convey thoughts about the paper, and that focusing on that as the main component of the review being supported by comments throughout the paper as needed would be a good improvement.
Well, that's all. Special thanks goes to my new friend Melissa for helping me find the grammatical errors in my essay.
Adios!
My dear friend, Alex. This is not Sam. I have hijacked her blogging experience. I am glad that something I did was of worth to you and your paper. And hopefully your grade. It is the special burden of English majors to bear, that their lot in life is to make the writing experience of everyone else miserable. Write in faith, my child.
ReplyDeleteMelissa
Okay, so now that I got my blog back... ;)
ReplyDeleteI agree with the point you made about not having to include five comments every page and that the reflection at the end is sufficient. It really does help you give your overall opinion of the paper better than trying to think of things to write on someone's paper when you don't really have many specific comments on that page.
Nicely done. The point was to find grammatical errors yourself, but I understand that it's hard to find errors in your own writing! The most important thing is to be able to correct the mistakes. Also, it isn't technically a grammatical error to begin a sentence with a conjunction; obviously, it's not advisable to overdo it, but in your case, it seemed like a strategic move.
ReplyDeleteFinding five comments per page was really tough, I totally agree. It seemed like most of mine just ended up as "nice sentence" or "good point" which are not particularly useful. It was nice to read those complimentary comments in my own paper though, so it's a toss-up for me. As long as all of our comments don't have to be insightful and/or helpful, I don't mind (too much:)) having to write so many.
ReplyDeletePretty much, just reading those few segments of your paper gives me the impression that you are highly intelligent. I surely have the knowledge of a puppy when it comes to politics. Just throwing that out there.
ReplyDeleteAnd, I definitely agree that it was annoying to have to make 5 comments for every page, because most of them were just useless fragments of words to fulfill the requirement. If there wasn't that requirement, then perhaps the feedback could be 1005 useful, instead of just mostly useful.
Anyways, good post. And great explanations for everything!